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YOU'RE NOT ALONE

 

Has your toddler ever pooped on your foot while he was waiting for you to fill up the bath for him? Yep, been there.
Ever serve your daughter cereal for dinner? Yelled harshly at the kids? Are you feeling the pressure to be the perfect dad? Treated unfairly in a custody case? 

Ever spent Christmas alone?

My children were only four and six-years old when the tragedy of divorce touched their little lives. I saw how the split affected them, but despite my best efforts I could not protect my children from its wounds.
They were forever changed—their journey forever altered.
That was in the mid 90's and I've gained a lot of perspective since then. As much as I didn't really feel like pulling out all these old memories, I owe it to you guys who are currently walking the same road. My kids are grown now. I re-married after being a single dad for 7 years and had 2 more kids with my current wife. I'm hoping maybe my experiences can help you. More than that, I want to point you to Christ, your only real hope.
During the years following this unexpected breakup, I dedicated my energies toward serving my kids, often with some pretty sorry attempts. I had no older men speaking into my life and in those days before the Internet, there was a severe lack of resources to help me. This blog is one attempt to help serve you better. I had a hard time finding helpful resources when I was traveling through the wilderness. My hope is that this blog will offer a little assistance for fathers trying to navigate through some pretty tough roadblocks.
I'm a devout follower of Jesus, so this blog is for guys who love God or for those searching for a Savior. So, like my previously published works, I'm going to have a Christian worldview in most all these blogs as well. This blog is not for trying to define who sinned and who is the innocent victim in your divorce. You might consider consulting the Bible, because you won’t find those answers here. Nor is this blog about legal advice. Its about helping you remember you're not alone. We're in this together, married or single. 
The world may try to polish over the ugliness of divorce. These days it’s considered derogatory to say “broken home,” so we often hear that phrase replaced with a politically correct phrase like “single-parent environment.” But we should be able to call a spade a spade. Divorce is ugly and depressing. It destroys families and God hates it. Now that we’ve acknowledged this, hopefully I can talk openly, even humorously about its effects on us dads.
My own life journey includes the hardship of an unwanted divorce, so this blog was written with the divorced father in mind. However, widowers and never-married dads will also find it useful. I believe the concept of survival applies to all single moms and dads, but I write with the goal of helping single fathers in particular.   

 

   MY STORY

In short, my story goes like this: As a young man I was married 10 years with two kids when my wife left me. I lived only a few minutes from my kids for the first few years, eventually having them move in with me full-time. I was their custodial parent for both of them at once, then each of them separately, until they moved back to their mother and out of state.  

After that we saw each other only a few times a year as they became teens. Seven years after the divorce I remarried. Again each of my children spent a period of time living with me and my wife Christine. Meanwhile we brought two more precious ones into the mix and together we all learned about blending families.

Now, decades later, the two oldest are grown and moved away. They survived the journey well and we love each other deeply. Now the relationship has moved from parent/child to friends and it's kinda fun.

As our two youngest get bigger, I continue to learn what it means to be a courageous father. I'm not always smart. I'm pretty stupid at times. But with every mistake made, I know it can only serve to help you avoid the same pitfalls. LOL

I love to see men step up and lead their kids. I have a passion for encouraging and challenging fathers to lead their kids in ways that ultimately point to Jesus.

It's my hope this blog will have a small part in that. If you're a single dad and you are looking for hope, I pray you might find it here.

The Lord desires men who will rise up to their potential in whatever situation they are facing, so the name of Jesus can be lifted up. Chances are you’re one of those men. So climb in, buckle your seat belt, and take a ride with me as we consider this unpredictable road you’re traveling. 



Reaching out to dads is only one of the ways I help point people to Jesus, you can get a better idea of what my wife and I do as missionaries if you check out BrooksCruMissions.org