Sunday, April 17, 2016
Society has little understanding for custodial daddies. Try standing outside a ladies room while waiting for your daughter. You get all kinds of disapproving looks while you're wondering if your kid is ok in the bathroom alone.
When people see you eating out with your kids, chances are they assume you are just visiting your children for the weekend.
They have no idea you might have had to cut your hours at work to make sure you're home for dinner each night. And no one really cares.
Then there's the sexual temptation. A battle all to its own.
Men are just as broken by divorce as women but few believe this. Even fewer care. And if you are a widower, you have the grief factor to deal with on top of everything else.
Those of us who have survived and come out the other side could help a lot of these guys. Often we put it behind us and never talk about it. Its been almost 15 years since I was a single dad and some of my friends don't even know I was. That's sad...because it means I'm hiding and thus single dads don't even know they can come to me for advice or a shoulder.
How about you? Have you re-married and started another life? Are you hiding your past pain so that you don't have to help those going through it alone? It is after all, uncomfortable.
Okay single dads...those who are currently still single...what ways can we best help you to survive and come out of this a better man? Or maybe you have some gripes you need to unload....Comment below.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Just when I think all the hub-bub about The Single Dad Detour is over. Just when I've resigned myself to embracing it will be shelved and forgotten amidst the myriad of other dusty, countless books, suddenly I hear how God is using it to minister to a dad here or there.
I've been feeling so grateful lately for the opportunities God is providing to reach out to single dads and offer encouragement. This week I met with two different men to hear their stories and lend a shoulder. If only I had that opportunity years ago, during my own journey as a single father. I wonder how many other dads are out there without anyone to bounce things off, without a friend to listen or even offer help with the kids from time to time?
Can I share a dirty little secret? To be frank, Im not naturally compassionate. My wife will be the first to tell you, when I display compassion it's a total God thing. It pretty much has to be a move of the Holy Spirit in my heart.
Like I mentioned in The Single Dad Detour, I did not want to write a book about my painful journey through divorce and single parenting. I compared it to digging through nasty cat litter to find someone else's car keys.
It's pretty safe to say that entire book was a work of the Holy Spirit moving in me. When I finally began to write it, I was moved with compassion and love for my fellow brothers on that road. And God continues to stir that up in me, in order to help guys struggling to find direction and hope. Thanks to Christ's power in me (changing me day-by-day into his image) and some awesome Stephen Ministry training, it's become more natural for me to come alongside men and feel their pain.
Now, I must go and figure out how to convince my wife that crepes are on the menu for breakfast today. Have a blessed weekend.