Friday, February 13, 2015

Valentine's Day and Your Daughter

     My wife is the bomb!
     I love reminding her she is the most important person in the world to me. Valentine's Day is one of the times I can show her all day long. But why is it my mind also drifts toward my three girls on V Day?

My eldest daughter is grown and lives three states away from me. I have two more daughters still at home. Yet each Valentine's Day my heart is drawn to show them affection as well.
     I think it's because of an unbreakable connection a girl and a daddy share. Even abusive dads who have done horrible things to their kids have this connection (however damaged) that girls can never sever as hard as they try.
     That's why we dads (especially if divorce touched our family) must carefully steward that rope that is forever connected to our daughter's heart.
      I often fail to do this well. Just being male brings misunderstandings between us. I bark orders that to me, are just observations or requests. Like a coach that spurs on his team. I dont expect anyone to take it personal.

     "Let's go! Comb your hair, get your shoes on, you're gonna be late. Watch the clock. Why are you staring out the window? Get going!"

     I'm just asking questions and making observations. I'm not angry nor do I have anything against them.

     What my girls often hear is a prison sergeant hissing out angry oppressive accusations.

      (Heavy sigh). Girls are so sensitive.

     So tomorrow is Valentine's Day and somehow I want to show them how loved they are. I want to let them know how crazy I am about them. They are all intelligent, clever, and beautiful young ladies that have to ability to transform the world. I'm proud to be connected to them.

     What better time to show this than V Day. Of course I never want to place my girls in a position of replacing the romantic relationship I can only find with a wife. Putting them in that role is unhealthy and a little weird. Yet I see a lot of single parents do this. That is dysfunctional and unfair to the child. But that's a topic for another day.

     What I'm talking about is buying a cute stuffed bear or some candy hearts for your little girl. Or if she's older, a nice card. Until she's finally married off, she must know that YOU are her knight in shining armor. Your extravagant affection might just keep her from too soon looking elsewhere for love.

     For the record, it's my belief that after your daughter is married, her husband should be the one filling those needs. It's time for Dad to step back and let Mr. Right do his job.

     So what ways do you model how precious your daughter is? Comment below and share how you have trained your daughter what to expect from a man--how they should be honored and loved.