Saturday, January 17, 2015

Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Heartbreak

So a few days ago, a DJ on the radio says his teen daughter just experienced her first heart-break over a guy at school who dumped her for another girl. He tells the other radio host, "So we're giving her some space."

I was shocked that this dad's response was so casual and nonchalant.

I had a million questions I wanted to ask this preoccupied dad:
Why didn't you ever make an effort meet this guy?
Did you talk to her about getting your permission before letting a guy capture her heart?
Have you trained her how to protect her heart from becoming defrauded like this?
Do you plan to talk to his parents? Have you even made an effort to meet them?
Why don't you protect her from these romances until she's ready for marriage?

I wanted to call in to the program. There was so much wrong with this situation I didn't know where to start. First of all, our family home schools and his probably doesn't...so we can't even relate on the philosophy differences of that topic. But it does bring up some great points in favor of home-schooling. One of those being that we don't ever have to worry about my daughter spending 6 hours a day at school with a boy... with no parents around to monitor the relationship and what kind of romancing this boy is trying to pull off. Does he have business wooing someone's daughter if he casnt afford to marry and support her? Isn't he just "playing house"--having the fun of romancing a girl with no need to be a responsible man? He cant even follow through on any promises he's making to love this girl. But isn't this what we teach our boys to do? ....to practice for marriage for several years, using some girl(s) and leaving a trail of broken and defrauded hearts until they want to settle down? I know Im on a soapbox...sorry.

I'm so sad for this girl. Her parents are just following society norms. My ideals are so wierd to most I don't share them unless people ask. Besides I have no idea if my plans to protect my girl will work in the end. I've seen a lot of kids who are home-schooled rebel as young adults. So I don't want to come across like some parent with the perfect plan, then end up eating crow later down the road. I'm so prone to self-righteousness and pride. Hate that.

What about you other dads out there? How do you protect your daughter's heart? Which camp do you find yourself more comfortable in: societal norms, or counter-cultural ideas? Or somewhere in between?